The Cook's Toolkit

The Cook's Toolkit
The Cook's Toolkit by Clever Pumpkin.


Four women are about to start a mob war - and nails WILL be broken.


The romance is over: Edward & Bella twenty years on. My short story Daylight is now available as a free download.

Follow by Email

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Tontine: The New Eco Facism

Okay, there we all were minding our own business when someone from Corporate `R We decided the world doesn't have enough to worry about, between earthquakes, floods and everything else, and that we should all be made to feel bad about our pillows.

Tontine's latest ad claims that after a couple of years, your pillow has an entire ecosystem all of its own, feeding on your skin cells and… multiplying!  I have to admit, I felt an omnipotent rush at the news, a la Lisa Simpson, I thought, My God!  I've created life.  I had visions of the little bits of me, happily living their own life, catching up with each other on the way to work, wearing little hats and carrying tiny lunch pails.

How they hanging, mate?
Yeah, not bad, not bad at all mate.  Ecosystem's getting a bit crowded.
Maaate.  There you go with that xenophobia again, mate.
I don't appreciate being called racist, mate, particularly not by a bloke wearing a dress.
I told you, mate, it's my right to freedom of expression, mate.
Since when is cross-dressing a religion, mate?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thought Of The Day

The problem with the human race is that it's not an organization you can resign from.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

E=mc2 Around The House

The extent to which a cleaning product will streak is directly proportionate to the number of times the label says 'streak-free'.